A few weeks back, the lady we pay to come daily to wash our
dishes and clean our floors didn’t come for two days. And when she finally did
come, she came early. On the ONE day I am ever out of my house before noon. And
you know what, she didn’t wait, she turned right around and left. Many thoughts
went through my head then. None of them good.
On a different occasion, when we arrived at the train
station from a tiring trip, we walk out to find the lot that is normally filled
with at least one hundred auto rickshaws is instead filled with HUNDREDS of
people and about 15 autos. Little did we know, but we scheduled our arrival on
at the same time as a festival! Bad timing on our part. So this meant that
EVERY auto driver we approached were in cahoots and staunchly asked for almost
THREE times what the fare should have been. Anger and frustration began to boil
up so quickly in my heart (which in a lady’s life generally falls somewhere
between a raised voice and tears) when driver after driver refused to take us
for less money. Frustration and anger began to take over. To the point that
when someone else tried to get in the auto with us when we finally agreed to an
insane price, we yelled at the driver to keep on going and not let anyone else
in the auto with us since we were paying so much money. We passed family after
family waving down the auto looking desperate for a ride home.
I could name countless other situations that are just plain
FRUSTRATING. They ignite a frustration, temper, bitterness, and ill will in me
that I never knew was simmering in the depths of my heart. Leave it to India to
bring out the worst in you. I could have never imagined the NEW daily frustrations
that we would have to face: the workers that don’t show up after you’ve talked
to them on the phone several times with assurances that they were coming RIGHT
NOW; the reckless drivers that cut you off on your motorcycle, sending you either
to the ground or barely missing the motorcycle/bicycle/semi next to you; your
water running out just as the washing machine starts to fill; the power being
out for several days in the middle of the summer.
“But this beautiful treasure is contained in us—cracked pots
made of earth and clay—so that the transcendent character of this power will be
clearly seen as coming from God and not from us. We are cracked and chipped
from our afflictions on all sides, but we are not crushed by them. We are
bewildered at times, but we do not give in to despair. We are persecuted, but
we have not been abandoned. We have been knocked down, but we are not
destroyed. We always carry around in our bodies the reality of the brutal death
and suffering of Jesus. As a result, His resurrection life rises and reveals
its wondrous power in our bodies as well. For while we live, we are constantly
handed over to death on account of Jesus, so that His life may be revealed even
in our mortal bodies of flesh. So death is constantly at work in us, but life
is working in you.” -2 Corinthians 4:7-12
As I was fixating on frustration, it seemed I could do
NOTHING to bring myself out of those terrible thoughts of people. Then, I
finally called out to the Lord and said, “God, You have GOT to help me. I don’t
feel like I have any control over my emotions.” That’s when He gently gave me
perspective on the situation. And He told me, “Every minute that you spend
fixating on your anger, frustration, bitterness, (etc.), you are listening to
the thoughts that the evil one wants you to have. And every minute you are
listening to him is a minute that you are not listening to me or what I have to
share with you.”
It is so real that the enemy, the devil, is prowling around
seeking to destroy us and grab hold of us by the teeth and painfully drag us to
his den to devour us. But we MUST resist! (1 Peter 5:8-9) We must remember that
we may live in this world, but the powers we are up against are not of this
world. We are given power to demolish arguments and ideas AND to take every
thought and emotion captive and subduing them into obedience to the Anointed
One (2 Corinthians 10:3-5).
When the Lord spoke that to me, I remembered that not only am
I in a battle over my mind, but also that I must FIGHT. Resist. Take captive.
For, “a person full of goodness in his heart produces good things; a person
with an evil reservoir in his heart pours out evil things. The heart overflows
in the words a person speaks; your words reveal what’s within your heart.”
–Luke 6:45
And I’m convinced that when I’m fixated on a way that
someone has wronged me or frustrated me, I am not able to fully love people, to
speak in joy, to hear what my Father is speaking to me, and to bring His
kingdom.
BUT I want ALL those things. The Father has given me a
desire to be overflowing with joy, to offer people love, mercy, and grace, to
hear from Him what He is up to on this earth.
So if I desire to hear the words of my good Father and not
the prowling, destructive evil one, I’ve got to fight, to run to my strong
refuge, and to ask for help in times of need.
I believe in the Lord and His power over the evil that roams
this earth. This belief gives me strength to refuse to linger on thoughts that
don’t come from the one that I really want to be listening to.
Any thing that you’ve been fixating on recently, that’s
dragging you down and muffling your ears from hearing from the Father?